I met with a delightful woman the other day who was very poetic with her language. She was talking about a friend who died suddenly, and she was telling me what a wonderful person he was: how much he loved life and celebrated every moment, and what an inspiration he was. She said that she would love to be more like him.

“He spread joy wherever he went. You know, he was filled with ‘Sacred Sauce!’”

“’Sacred Sauce’? Where did you get that expression?” I asked.

She said: “I just made it up! Feel free to use it.”

I just love the idea that when we are truly alive and showing up for life that we are filled with “sacred sauce!” Wouldn’t it be wonderful to simply set aside whatever troubles that came up since Fall 2010, and start fresh. If we aren’t dwelling on the anger and hurt and disappointment of the past, there is no blockage and the flow of “sacred sauce” is easy and effortless.

You might be familiar with a Yiddish word that has slipped into the English vernacular. The word is: “kvetch” and it means complaining about life over and over again. With the help of wonderful techniques that I learned from my friend and mentor, Lindsay Kenny, I have come up with a variation of one of Lindsay’s techniques that I call: “Kvetch Tapping.” In order to get to the freedom of flowing with your “Sacred Sauce,” you may very well need to give voice to all the negative statements floating around in your head.

For example, I was working with a client I’ll call “Mary” who was very depressed. Her head was filled with very negative thoughts about herself and life in general. With traditional counseling, I usually encourage a person to substitute more positive statements for the negative thoughts. In this case, the negative thoughts were so pervasive that my client needed to vent her negative feelings before we could move on.

I told “Mary” that she could “kvetch” and complain all she wanted, as long as she tapped while she did it. So, we set up the general statement that “Life Sucks,” and I encouraged Mary to come up with every negative statement she could think of that would support that statement.

KC: (3X) Even though Life Sucks and I feel frightened, depressed and filled with hopelessness, I am willing to accept the possibility that I might learn to accept myself anyway.

EB: I can barely get out of bed in the morning.

SE: I can’t do my job.

UE: I don’t know how to make it through the day.

UN: I hate my life.

Ch: I’m afraid my friends are getting tired of me.

CB: I’m afraid to be alone.

UA: I don’t think I’ll ever feel better.

RC: I can’t sleep.

WR: My life sucks.

TH: My life really sucks!

After several rounds of constant “kvetching,” Mary began to see some humor and absurdity in her situation. After she evened out her energy, she was able to insert more and more positive statements.

EB: The weather is beautiful.

SE: I have great friends who support me.

UE: I played with a cute puppy today.

UN: I got a nice compliment from a stranger today.

Ch: All I have to do is make it through today.

CB: I’m learning to enjoy my own company.

UA: I know I will feel better soon.

RC: I choose to sleep like a baby.

WR: My life doesn’t suck at all.

TH: My life is good!

So, go ahead, do some “kvetch” tapping, but don’t forget to add positive statements at the end after the negative statements have been neutralized.

And don’t forget, if you happen to be in the Chicago area, our next Borrowing Benefits EFT Tapping Group will be held on the last Sunday of the month, September 25, 2011 from 3 to 4:30 PM on the north side of Chicago. Call or e-mail Kiya for more details and to reserve your space: (773) 880-5492 or email

EFT Tapping Group

It’s getting to be that time again!  If you live in the Chicago area, please come and benefit from our monthly “Borrowing Benefits” tapping group on the north side of Chicago.  We meet in my condo from 3 to 4:30 PM on the last Sunday of the month.  The date is Sunday, August 28, 2011.  The cost is $50, and you need no prior experience with EFT.

Bring a friend and benefit from the “2-for-1” sale.  Or, come by yourself, pay $50 and you can come to the September tapping group for free.

Each tapping group has been very successful, with people reporting that they have experienced significant lessening of their own stress levels just by tapping along with whoever is working on their own issues.

If you don’t live in the Chicago area, please call and set up an affordable group of telephone tapping sessions.  Live sessions or telephone sessions are equally valuable, and the cost is $130 for a 60 minute session.  If you prefer to purchase a package of 6 or more tapping sessions, the cost is only $595.

You can pay by check or PayPal.  If you haven’t tried EFT, you owe it to yourself to learn this simple, yet highly effective stress-relief tool. 

I look forward to tapping with you,

Kiya

There’s a wonderfully expressive Yiddish word, that has been somewhat incorporated into the American dialect. That word is “kvetch.” It means complaining bitterly and often about a given situation. It is also used as a noun: So and so is such a kvetch! He’s always complaining about something.

I have to admit, I have been quite a “kvetch” myself lately about the intense heat spell we’ve had in Chicago. I drove by a bank the other day and it said that the heat index was 107 degrees. It is hot.

I believe that I can be more comfortable on a hot day by using tapping. Of course, I can’t literally change the temperature, but I can change my emotional relationship to the heat.

I am reminded of a funny episode of M.A.S.H. where Klinger is given a sugar pill that is supposed to relieve him of the intense heat. Everyone else is sweating profusely while Klinger is parading around in heavy clothes and a mink coat.

When someone finally tells him that the pill was only a placebo, he immediately rips off his heavy clothes and starts sweating and kvetching about the unbearable heat.

How is it that patients can take a Sugar Pill, believing it is a heavy narcotic and be suddenly free of excruciating pain? Or someone with chronic Insomnia manages to sleep peacefully through the night just because they think they have taken a powerful sleeping pill?

If we accept the fact that everything is energy, then I believe that the “Placebo Effect” is simply a shifting of energy that allows the person to use their natural healing abilities because their belief system has been changed.

I think that tapping does essentially the same thing, only we get to be totally conscious of what we are doing and there doesn’t need to be a sense of being “duped.”

You can try this at home. Either remember vividly or create a cool experience for yourself. All I have to do is remember the cool water against my skin when I was in a swimming pool. Or you might want to set a big bowl of ice cubes in front of a fan and blow the cool air on your face.

Next, move away from the fan (or the cool memory), and allow yourself to give full reign to your kvetching about the weather.

KC: (3X) Even though I HATE this heat and it makes me feel angry, frustrated, uncomfortable, and irritable, I accept myself anyway.

EB: This unbearable heat.

SE: This unbearable heat.

UE: I am inside a furnace at work.

UN: I can’t stand it anymore.

Ch: I want to move to the Arctic Circle.

CB: I feel so angry.

UA: I feel so frustrated.

RC: I feel so uncomfortable.

WR: I feel so irritable.

TH: This unbearable heat.

Keep going until you have brought all the numbers down close to zero. Then start planting a new idea. You can skip the Karate Chop, and just tap on all of the points saying something entirely positive and cool:

EB: That cool fan on my face.

SE: That bowl of ice cubes.

UE: The feel of cool water when I jumped in the pool.

UN: That cool fan on my face.

Ch: I can feel cool anytime I want to.

CB: I can re-create that feeling of coolness.

UA: I feel cool right now..

RC: I can ignore the thermometer.

WR: I choose to feel cool.

TH: I choose to feel cool.

Please e-mail me and let me know if you have success with this idea.

Blessings,

Kiya

Many things about Energy Work are so very different from traditional counseling, and Borrowing Benefits is a great example. I am glad that I have training and experience in both modalities, and I often incorporate EFT coaching with regular psychotherapy in my private practice.

Whenever I have set up a traditional counseling therapy group, there are important issues of confidentiality, safety, and consistency. There is a careful process involved in introducing new members to the group, and the participants usually make a commitment to a certain number of weekly sessions.

Because the possibility of anonymity and confidentiality are built into an EFT Coaching Group, new people are welcome to join at any time. And because Basic EFT is so simple to use, newcomers can join in who have no experience with tapping at all. In fact, I encourage people to bring friends so they can witness how it works and easily participate.

So, once a month we gather and the group can be very different each time. I ask everyone to write down 4 or 5 issues that they would like to work on. I ask that they think of simple, specific issues that are: single-faceted, current and measurable.

For example: Last Friday, at 10 to 5, my boss gave me a huge assignment that he wanted done before I left work that day. I felt angry, frustrated and exhausted.

Next to that specific event, I ask the person to write down a number from “0” to “10” to indicate the intensity of the feelings. “Zero” means that it doesn’t bother me at all, and “ten” means that it bothers me as much as anything ever could.

The confidentiality, safety and anonymity issues are all handled by the simple fact that the person can come to the group with these issues and not reveal what they are to anyone (even the facilitator). People can come to the group and just mention their first name. If it is important to the person to keep their issue totally private, they can simply volunteer (or not) to work in front of the group, and simply say:

Even though I HAVE THIS ISSUE, and it makes me feel angry, frustrated and exhausted, I accept myself anyway.

More often than not, people who come to the group feel comfortable and are willing to openly share their issues with the group. But, it is important that everyone has the clear option to remain private.

Everyone in the group has a list of their own issues that they have written down and given an arbitrary intensity level. Then, they put their issues to the side, as one person volunteers to work in front of the group.

Everyone then taps with the volunteer, saying the same words s/he says and tapping the same points at the same time. It is a powerful experience to have a group tapping with you and adding to the movement of energy.

The borrowing benefits part works like this: as a group member, you are totally focused on the volunteer’s issue. You are doing lots of tapping, but not for yourself or your own issues. Then, after you have totally supported the volunteer, you look again at your own list. Very often you will find that the intensity level of your own issues have diminished significantly!

So, the group is “Win-Win” for everyone involved. It is a satisfying experience to support another person by tapping with them, but it is even more satisfying to know that your own issues tend to get resolved at the same time.

If you are in the greater Chicago area, call to reserve your space in the monthly Borrowing Benefits Group, meeting on the north side of Chicago on Sunday, July 31, 2011 between 3:00 PM and 4:30 PM. Call or email Kiya at: (773) 880-5492 or email.

Dear Tappers,

For the first time since I started my website, I am choosing to skip my monthly newsletter for June.  After a very long illness, my Mom died today, Friday, June 3, 2011.

My mother had a very long and full life.  It is my intention to celebrate her 95 years on this planet, but first I need to take a little time to say “goodbye” not only to her, but to the end of an entire generation of my blood relatives.

I choose to picture her in Heaven dancing with my Dad.  I picture her surrounded by the last 2 generations of grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins welcoming her to her new life free of pain.

Thanks to all of you who have been so supportive along the way.  One little tapping tip that helped me through this long process:  every time I was alone on the very slow elevator going up to my Mom’s room in the nursing home, I said the Ho’Pono Prayer over and over again while I tapped:

EB:  I LOVE YOU,

SE:  I’M SORRY,

UE:  PLEASE FORGIVE ME,

UN:  THANK YOU.

Ch:  I LOVE YOU,

CB:  I’M SORRY,

UA:  PLEASE FORGIVE ME,

RC:  THANK YOU.

Wr:  I LOVE YOU,

TH:  I’M SORRY,

EB:  PLEASE FORGIVE ME,

SE:  THANK YOU.

And I just kept going until the elevator doors finally opened.  I often tapped and recited the prayer at least ten times that way.

Blessings to all of you.  I may blog during this time and I’ll definitely have a newsletter for July. 

Please remember, if you are in the Chicago area on Sunday, June 26, 2011, please register for my Borrowing Benefits* once-a-month tapping group on the north side of Chicago from 3 to 4:30 PM.  The cost is $50 per session.  Call or e-mail me as soon as possible to reserve your space because of limited seating.  Call: 773 880-5492 or e-mail: kiya@eft-tap.com.

* Borrowing Benefits refers to the discovery that people who gather in a group and tap for another person’s issue end up having relief from their own issues that weren’t even addressed.

A few nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to pee. (Sorry to be undignified, but I just can’t say “urinate” without laughing). You see, I had an Uncle Nate growing up and when my 3 year old cousin would run around at a family party announcing to everyone in a little baby voice: “Urinate, urinate,” my uncle Nate would always shout: “What do you want?”

But I digress. I came back to bed and switched on the TV (I know I should have tapped instead), and there it was in all its glory: the Royal Wedding. And since it was 3 in the morning, I found station-after-station going on and on about what the bride might wear and who would be at the ceremony and who wasn’t invited. And in case you haven’t noticed, it was the wedding of Prince William of England, to the “commoner,” Kate Middleton.

Up until that middle-of-the-night moment, I had absolutely no interest in the marriage of the Queen of England’s grandson. But then I got taken up by the “train wreck” that it was.

If I had my wits about me, I might have started to tap:

KC: Even though I am powerless over watching this middle-of-the-night spectacle, and I feel silly, ridiculous, and embarrassed, I accept myself anyway. (3X)

EB: This silly middle-of-the-night wedding.

SE: I am embarrassed that I can’t seem to tear myself away.

UE: I need my rest.

UN: Do I really care about the bride’s wedding dress?

Ch: How can I ever admit this to my cynical friends?

CB: You stayed up all night to watch what??

UA: I am an American woman who doesn’t believe in “royalty.”

RC: OOOO–look at all those ladies in funny hats!

WR: I am beginning to think it’s okay for me to have this guilty pleasure.

TH: I am choosing to enjoy the pomp and circumstance!

So, the truth is that I actually enjoyed watching the wedding. And I decided why: if you turn on the TV anytime of the day or night, you are bombarded by negative messages about tornadoes and uprisings and death and despair. Even the commercials are depressing–especially the drug commercials.

You see beautiful looking people skipping down the street because they asked their doctor about taking the latest funny-sounding-medicine that’s going to cure everything from headaches to anxiety to the “heartbreak of psoriasis.” And then an ominous (but much lower and quicker) speaking voice says: There are possible side effects such as: depression, suicidal thoughts, loss of limbs, and even death. Just check with your doctor to see if this wonder drug is right for you!

As my grandmother would say: Oy vay! So, for one silly night, I suspended all sense of reality as I know it and watched something that was entirely sweet, romantic, hopeful and respectful. I liked the fact that everyone was dressed in their finest clothes and people were cheering for William and Kate from around the world.

In many of the books I have read about the “Law of Attraction,” there are things mentioned about the great power of concentrated energy. Maybe for that brief moment, enough of the world stopped to smile, and Mother Earth smiled back.

Upcoming Workshops

If you happen to be in the Chicago area and would like to experience a 2-day tapping event, please click here to contact me or call (773) 880-5492. Individuals who have taken the equivalent of Level 1 Workshops will receive a Level 2 Tapping Certificate. Those of you who just want the chance to work on their own issues for 2 days worth of experience are also welcome to join in.

Space is very limited, so please contact me to participate in this great event. There is great positive power in tapping in a group. Come find out for yourself. Click here to contact me or call (773) 880-5492