Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass,
it is about learning to dance in the rain.

What is your mantra? I have a friend who has been feeling very depressed and cynical lately. She declares on a regular basis: Life SUCKS ! When I question that very negative, absolute statement, she says: I am just being REALISTIC ! How can you argue with that?

What I came up with was looking at the two expressions: life sucks or life rocks. There’s a world of difference in the attitudes, but only a couple of letters separate the two statements. If someone says: life sucks, I imagine that the “S” stands for “severity” and the “u” stands for “unhappiness.” If someone says instead that life rocks, I think that the “R” stands for “reverence” and the “O” stands for “ownership.”

If we say over and over and over again that life sucks, we will find many examples to “prove” that we are, indeed, being “realistic.” At any given moment on any given day, there are lots of things to focus on that reflect “severity” on every level: severe weather conditions; severe disappointment in friends; severe feelings of inadequacy; severe financial situations, etc., etc. And, as a result, there is so much to feel “unhappy” about, and so we can say with great conviction that it is absolutely true that life sucks.

The funny thing is that the people who believe that life rocks may have just as many severe personal and global circumstances in their lives. They may even have many more reasons to feel “unhappy,” but a different CHOICE has been made. Those people have chosen over and over again to have “reverence” for anything and everything in life that is good or pleasant or lovely, no matter how fleeting. And best of all, they take total “ownership” for their life experiences. If they choose to own the “good, the bad, and the ugly” in life, but put their energy and emphasis on the “good” part, are they not being equally “realistic?”

I think that tapping can support anyone to transform themselves from a life sucks kind of person over to a life rocks kind of person. Here is an example of how it could be done. We would start with Lindsay Kenny’s wonderful global technique called “Bundling Baggage.” You give the life sucks person total permission to bitterly complain about everything wrong in life (as long as they tap while they do it).

KC: Even though Life Sucks, and I can prove it, I accept myself anyway. (3X)
EB: I hate that my body hurts all the time.
SE: I hate that I can’t lose weight.
UE: I hate that I can’t buy anything I want.
UN: I hate that having a partner doesn’t solve anything.
Ch: I hate that nothing excites me anymore.
CB: I hate that my friends are boring.
UA: I hate that the weather is so awful.
RC: I hate that the sun rarely shines.
Wr: I hate that no one will take care of me when I’m old.
TH: I hate that life sucks !

I encourage the person to go on and on until they can’t think of another thing to complain about. The key is to tap continuously while doing it. I also prod the person into exaggerating to the point of absurdity: I hate that restaurants serve COKE or PEPSI and not both; I can’t stand when men walk around with “comb-overs” — don’t they know how stupid they look; I hate when people say: “have a nice day!” I want to slap them and say: “have a crappy day !”

Then, when the person realizes how absurd their constant negativity can sound, they may be ready to start injecting some positive stuff:

Even though I have convinced myself that “life sucks,” I do enjoy watching my cats play;
I liked laughing until I cried at that funny movie; I was excited that my favorite candidate won that election, etc.

Remember: have reverence for even the smallest things that are pleasant in life, and take ownership that you are totally responsible for your reaction to life’s challenges. Enjoy the month of March. I always do because it includes my birthday.

The Bible tells us to love thy neighbor, but we tend to forget the second part of the quotation: as thyself.  Since this is Valentine’s week, and so many people I know struggle with this holiday, I’m putting in an extra plug for self-love.  I’m not talking about the Donald-Trump-aren’t-I-the-greatest-even-with-bad-hair kind of bravado:  I am talking about genuine affection and appreciation for who you really are.

For those of you who struggle with low self-esteem, and even those of you who are pretty happy with yourself, try tapping for self-love this particular week.  Below is a tapping sequence for individuals who are very critical of themselves.  But you can change the wording to fit your own self-evaluation.

If you have a lot of critical self-chatter, you might want to do a whole round or two of negative statements just to clear the air.  Remember, you are tapping while you do it so your energy remains neutral. I encourage you to exaggerate to the point of absurdity:  I’m too fat; my place is a mess; I’m late with my taxes; I still bite my fingernails; I’m lazy; I hate to exercise; I won’t eat my green beans; I’ll probably never write the great American novel; my thighs are the size of Cleveland; I sing like a dying frog, etc.

Then, begin to interject some positive statements along with the negative (and they don’t have to have anything to do with each other):

KC:   Even though I find so many things wrong with me, I want to learn to love and accept myself anyway. (3times)

EB:   My thighs are the size of Cleveland AND I have pretty blue eyes.  

SE:   I’m lazy AND I know almost all the words to “Oklahoma.”

UE:   I still bite my fingernails AND cats and children like me. 

UN:  I hate to exercise AND I love to laugh.  

Ch:   I won’t eat my green beans AND I’m a great thumb wrestler.    

CB:   I sing like a dying frog AND  I make great Smoothies.   

UA:   I’m too fat AND I have a great sense of humor.    

RC:   I love to watch old movies.    

WR:   I show up for my friends. 

TH:   I really do like myself just the way I am!

Buy yourself a Valentine’s Day card and sign it with love.  Buy yourself some flowers.  Be kind and patient with yourself.  And if you happen to be in the Chicago area, join me at my EFT Basics Plus Workshop on March 19, 2011 and March 20, 2011.  If you call me before midnight on Valentine’s Day and commit to the workshop, and pre-pay before March 1, 2011, you can still get the discount price of $100.  Call Kiya to reserve your space:  (773) 880-5492.

So, maybe you don’t have a specific Valentine person this year, or even if you do, how about spending the whole Valentine week saying loving things to friends, neighbors, co-workers, family members and especially, your own precious self!

I love to say to a stranger on an elevator:  “What a beautiful necklace!” Usually, if it’s pretty enough for me to notice, then the person has a special feeling about it.  Often, the woman will touch it and smile so happily and tell me a little story about where or how she got it.

I love little moments like that.  And they take no extra effort or energy.

Just today, a little boy on an elevator was bursting with pride that he had his first karate lesson.  I told him that I have a friend who got her black belt when she was just 13 years old, so he eagerly showed me one of his new moves.  He was probably about 5 years old and we shared a wonderful moment.

It’s so easy to think of all the insults and slights and grievances we have about the people who cross our paths every day.  Try blessing them all, and sometime this next week, walk by a mirror and tell yourself how adorable you are!

And just  a reminder, my EFT Basics Plus Workshop is filling up fast.  The six hour class will take place on Saturday, March 19, 2011 and Sunday, March 20, 2011 from 10 A.M. until 6 P.M. both days on the north side of Chicago.  The cost is just $125, but if you notify me by Valentine’s day that you are definitely coming and mail me a $25 non-refundable deposit, you can attend for just $100.

In the workshop, I will be teaching the Basics of Energy Tapping, plus some exciting new innovations I have learned from my mentors and master teachers.  Whether the work is totally new to you, or you are taking it as a review, you will enjoy this highly informative and fun class.

Call or e-mail me by Valentine’s Day to reserve your space and to qualify for the $25 discount.  Space is limited, so if you are in the area, and would like to come, please call or e-mail me:  (773) 880-5492 or: kiya@eft-tap.com. 

February is here, short and “sweet.” Valentine’s Day is coming. If you are single, you might feel sad and lonely on that day. If you are fed up with the “Hallmark Card” version of a holiday, you might just laugh it off or ignore it completely. If you are in a relationship, you might be disappointed because your expectations got in the way of your experience.

I have done a lot of work on myself and others about this super “loaded” holiday. Even as a little kid, I felt bad because I gave everyone in my school room a valentine, and got so few back.

Every part of this holiday could be transformed through tapping. Matrix Reimprinting, a wonderful new slant on EFT, gives you the opportunity to go back to those awful moments in childhood, re-live them and then re-lease them. Your wise adult self can go back in time and comfort that sad little kid.

I mentioned in a past newsletter, a tongue-in-cheek variation of tapping that I came up with called “Revenge Tapping.” The idea is to give yourself permission to say really terrible things about someone you are angry with (as a way to let go of the negative energy and move on).

I encourage people to exaggerate (to the point of absurdity), mean things they could pretend to do (to their boss, for instance). The old movie, “9 to 5” was a great example of that. We all laughed when the fed-up women in the office chained their boss to a wall and took over the company. I bet some people watching got into a fantasy about what they would love to do to their own boss.

Since it is February, I am offering yet another variation. Instead of Revenge Tapping, we can practice “Love Tapping.” The funny thing is that the first technique often leads naturally into the second. I’ve worked with women who were so angry at their ex-husbands that they eagerly went along with Revenge Tapping.

An amazing turn-around often happened. After saying awful things and getting to the point of laughing about it, many people started moving in the opposite direction: He really wasn’t so bad; he was always a good Dad; I remember how handsome I thought he was when I first met him, etc., etc.

After clearing out the energy of resentment and hurt, the love often appears out of nowhere. And then “Love Tapping” can take over:

Even though I hated the way my ex treated me at the end of our marriage, part of me will always love him.

Even though my feelings for him will never be the same, I see his smile in my son’s eyes and my heart opens to the person he once was.

You can do love tapping for a friend, relative, pet, or even yourself. Think of all the nice things you can about a person and tap on yourself:

My boss is really smart.
He gave me extra time off when I needed it.
He always praises my good work.
He tries to get me fair raises.
Sometimes he tells funny jokes.
He always wears attractive ties….

You may have to dig deep for something nice to say, but you’ll find yourself feeling better about the person, and maybe a little more forgiving when he acts like a jerk again.

Try something new on Valentine’s Day: tell someone you love them who isn’t your spouse or your relative. Send a funny little kid valentine to a friend. Try to bring a smile to someone’s face on February 14th who you hardly know.

Sending lots of love and light to my faithful readers,

Kiya

I am excited to share with you that I will be teaching an EFT Workshop in Chicago on March 19 and 20, 2011.  I will cover all the Basics so that you can use this powerful tool for yourself.  The class will be from 10 AM until 1 PM on that Saturday and Sunday.

I am calling it “EFT Basics Plus” because I have learned so many new techniques and innovations since I first taught EFT workshops over 5 years ago.  If you have ever taken a Basic EFT class from me, I promise that you will learn some new and useful tools besides getting a great review. 

The cost for the 6 hour workshop is only $125, but if you want to give yourself an early Valentine’s Day Gift, sign up and pay a non-refundable $25 deposit by February 14th and only pay $100!

Learn how to stay calm in all kinds of stressful situations:  traffic, dealing with your boss, getting on an airplane, public speaking, taking exams and much, much more.  EFT can also give you relief from physical aches and pains. 

If you haven’t already, watch the 7 minute introductory video on my website: www.eft-tap.com.  You will see a man who was using a wheel chair do jumping jacks!

If you don’t live in Chicago, or can’t make the workshop, don’t forget that you can have a phone or SKYPE session with me from anywhere in the world.  E-mail me at:  kiya@eft-tap.com or call:  (773) 593-5492.

Recently, I got a fabulous testimonial from a colleague of mine who was promoting me to two other colleagues. She said:  “Kiya has a ton of energy, a sharp and creative mind, a big heart and a personality that puts the three of us to shame.”

That certainly made my day!  Try praising someone this week—it’s win-win for everyone!

As long as I can remember, the idea of “New Year’s Resolutions” has been treated as a joke by comedians. People make great promises to themselves and usually break them within weeks, or even days of making them.

I think it’s time to try something different. With the help of tapping, I want to encourage people to seek “solutions” instead of “re-solutions.”

Here’s my idea: I propose that we all take some time going into this new decade to look back at the last year, or even the last ten years, and first acknowledge the good stuff. It is so easy to emphasize the negative: the lousy economy; annoying relatives and bosses; bad weather; bad traffic—the list goes on and on.

Instead, search for the little gems that make life more interesting, and do a tapping sequence to bolster those positive memories. Here’s an example from my own experience:

(KARATE CHOP; EYE BROW; SIDE OF EYE; UNDER EYE; UNDER NOSE; CHIN; COLLAR BONE; UNDER ARM; RIB CAGE; WRISTS; TOP OF HEAD.)

A little trick I learned years ago really helps me to remember the positive. Now that I have my good list, I can give myself permission to complain about 2010 (as long as I tap along with it). The trick is to make a negative statement and then make a positive statement right next to it. The key word is the word “AND.”

The two statements don’t have to be even slightly related, but the message is simple: “Yes, this negative thing happened in my life AND some good things happened too.”

Here is another sample tapping sequence from my own experiences of 2010:

Try this method and see if acknowledging what was positive last year gives you a “solution” for next year.

Happy New Year,

Kiya

How often I have forgotten the “thank” in Thanksgiving.  As usual, I see how tapping helps me transcend my negative “monkey mind” and moves me into a state of gratitude.

It is so easy to think of dozens of things to be UN-thankful for:  the economy, the weather, lousy relationships, lack of relationships, feeling too fat or too skinny or too old—the list goes on and on.

Just bundle all the complaints together and tap them away.  Then, spend a little time alone on this holiday and think about some things you can sincerely be thankful for.  Don’t forget the little, tiny things that are precious, but so easily forgotten:  the baby who smiled and waved at me at a restaurant; laughing with a friend over something entirely ridiculous; giving my sandwich to a homeless man; getting into a tight pair of jeans; feeling the warm sun on my face on an otherwise cold day, etc.

Of course, I’m also thankful for the big blessings in my life:  a lovely home, great friends and family, my health and work that I love.

What are you thankful for?  I suggest thinking about it today and every day.  I wish you a happy, healthy and thankful Thanksgiving.

Blessings,

Kiy