Author Archive

There’s a wonderfully expressive Yiddish word, that has been somewhat incorporated into the American dialect. That word is “kvetch.” It means complaining bitterly and often about a given situation. It is also used as a noun: So and so is such a kvetch! He’s always complaining about something.

I have to admit, I have been quite a “kvetch” myself lately about the intense heat spell we’ve had in Chicago. I drove by a bank the other day and it said that the heat index was 107 degrees. It is hot.

I believe that I can be more comfortable on a hot day by using tapping. Of course, I can’t literally change the temperature, but I can change my emotional relationship to the heat.

I am reminded of a funny episode of M.A.S.H. where Klinger is given a sugar pill that is supposed to relieve him of the intense heat. Everyone else is sweating profusely while Klinger is parading around in heavy clothes and a mink coat.

When someone finally tells him that the pill was only a placebo, he immediately rips off his heavy clothes and starts sweating and kvetching about the unbearable heat.

How is it that patients can take a Sugar Pill, believing it is a heavy narcotic and be suddenly free of excruciating pain? Or someone with chronic Insomnia manages to sleep peacefully through the night just because they think they have taken a powerful sleeping pill?

If we accept the fact that everything is energy, then I believe that the “Placebo Effect” is simply a shifting of energy that allows the person to use their natural healing abilities because their belief system has been changed.

I think that tapping does essentially the same thing, only we get to be totally conscious of what we are doing and there doesn’t need to be a sense of being “duped.”

You can try this at home. Either remember vividly or create a cool experience for yourself. All I have to do is remember the cool water against my skin when I was in a swimming pool. Or you might want to set a big bowl of ice cubes in front of a fan and blow the cool air on your face.

Next, move away from the fan (or the cool memory), and allow yourself to give full reign to your kvetching about the weather.

KC: (3X) Even though I HATE this heat and it makes me feel angry, frustrated, uncomfortable, and irritable, I accept myself anyway.

EB: This unbearable heat.

SE: This unbearable heat.

UE: I am inside a furnace at work.

UN: I can’t stand it anymore.

Ch: I want to move to the Arctic Circle.

CB: I feel so angry.

UA: I feel so frustrated.

RC: I feel so uncomfortable.

WR: I feel so irritable.

TH: This unbearable heat.

Keep going until you have brought all the numbers down close to zero. Then start planting a new idea. You can skip the Karate Chop, and just tap on all of the points saying something entirely positive and cool:

EB: That cool fan on my face.

SE: That bowl of ice cubes.

UE: The feel of cool water when I jumped in the pool.

UN: That cool fan on my face.

Ch: I can feel cool anytime I want to.

CB: I can re-create that feeling of coolness.

UA: I feel cool right now..

RC: I can ignore the thermometer.

WR: I choose to feel cool.

TH: I choose to feel cool.

Please e-mail me and let me know if you have success with this idea.

Blessings,

Kiya

Many things about Energy Work are so very different from traditional counseling, and Borrowing Benefits is a great example. I am glad that I have training and experience in both modalities, and I often incorporate EFT coaching with regular psychotherapy in my private practice.

Whenever I have set up a traditional counseling therapy group, there are important issues of confidentiality, safety, and consistency. There is a careful process involved in introducing new members to the group, and the participants usually make a commitment to a certain number of weekly sessions.

Because the possibility of anonymity and confidentiality are built into an EFT Coaching Group, new people are welcome to join at any time. And because Basic EFT is so simple to use, newcomers can join in who have no experience with tapping at all. In fact, I encourage people to bring friends so they can witness how it works and easily participate.

So, once a month we gather and the group can be very different each time. I ask everyone to write down 4 or 5 issues that they would like to work on. I ask that they think of simple, specific issues that are: single-faceted, current and measurable.

For example: Last Friday, at 10 to 5, my boss gave me a huge assignment that he wanted done before I left work that day. I felt angry, frustrated and exhausted.

Next to that specific event, I ask the person to write down a number from “0” to “10” to indicate the intensity of the feelings. “Zero” means that it doesn’t bother me at all, and “ten” means that it bothers me as much as anything ever could.

The confidentiality, safety and anonymity issues are all handled by the simple fact that the person can come to the group with these issues and not reveal what they are to anyone (even the facilitator). People can come to the group and just mention their first name. If it is important to the person to keep their issue totally private, they can simply volunteer (or not) to work in front of the group, and simply say:

Even though I HAVE THIS ISSUE, and it makes me feel angry, frustrated and exhausted, I accept myself anyway.

More often than not, people who come to the group feel comfortable and are willing to openly share their issues with the group. But, it is important that everyone has the clear option to remain private.

Everyone in the group has a list of their own issues that they have written down and given an arbitrary intensity level. Then, they put their issues to the side, as one person volunteers to work in front of the group.

Everyone then taps with the volunteer, saying the same words s/he says and tapping the same points at the same time. It is a powerful experience to have a group tapping with you and adding to the movement of energy.

The borrowing benefits part works like this: as a group member, you are totally focused on the volunteer’s issue. You are doing lots of tapping, but not for yourself or your own issues. Then, after you have totally supported the volunteer, you look again at your own list. Very often you will find that the intensity level of your own issues have diminished significantly!

So, the group is “Win-Win” for everyone involved. It is a satisfying experience to support another person by tapping with them, but it is even more satisfying to know that your own issues tend to get resolved at the same time.

If you are in the greater Chicago area, call to reserve your space in the monthly Borrowing Benefits Group, meeting on the north side of Chicago on Sunday, July 31, 2011 between 3:00 PM and 4:30 PM. Call or email Kiya at: (773) 880-5492 or email.

Dear Tappers,

For the first time since I started my website, I am choosing to skip my monthly newsletter for June.  After a very long illness, my Mom died today, Friday, June 3, 2011.

My mother had a very long and full life.  It is my intention to celebrate her 95 years on this planet, but first I need to take a little time to say “goodbye” not only to her, but to the end of an entire generation of my blood relatives.

I choose to picture her in Heaven dancing with my Dad.  I picture her surrounded by the last 2 generations of grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins welcoming her to her new life free of pain.

Thanks to all of you who have been so supportive along the way.  One little tapping tip that helped me through this long process:  every time I was alone on the very slow elevator going up to my Mom’s room in the nursing home, I said the Ho’Pono Prayer over and over again while I tapped:

EB:  I LOVE YOU,

SE:  I’M SORRY,

UE:  PLEASE FORGIVE ME,

UN:  THANK YOU.

Ch:  I LOVE YOU,

CB:  I’M SORRY,

UA:  PLEASE FORGIVE ME,

RC:  THANK YOU.

Wr:  I LOVE YOU,

TH:  I’M SORRY,

EB:  PLEASE FORGIVE ME,

SE:  THANK YOU.

And I just kept going until the elevator doors finally opened.  I often tapped and recited the prayer at least ten times that way.

Blessings to all of you.  I may blog during this time and I’ll definitely have a newsletter for July. 

Please remember, if you are in the Chicago area on Sunday, June 26, 2011, please register for my Borrowing Benefits* once-a-month tapping group on the north side of Chicago from 3 to 4:30 PM.  The cost is $50 per session.  Call or e-mail me as soon as possible to reserve your space because of limited seating.  Call: 773 880-5492 or e-mail: kiya@eft-tap.com.

* Borrowing Benefits refers to the discovery that people who gather in a group and tap for another person’s issue end up having relief from their own issues that weren’t even addressed.

A few nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to pee. (Sorry to be undignified, but I just can’t say “urinate” without laughing). You see, I had an Uncle Nate growing up and when my 3 year old cousin would run around at a family party announcing to everyone in a little baby voice: “Urinate, urinate,” my uncle Nate would always shout: “What do you want?”

But I digress. I came back to bed and switched on the TV (I know I should have tapped instead), and there it was in all its glory: the Royal Wedding. And since it was 3 in the morning, I found station-after-station going on and on about what the bride might wear and who would be at the ceremony and who wasn’t invited. And in case you haven’t noticed, it was the wedding of Prince William of England, to the “commoner,” Kate Middleton.

Up until that middle-of-the-night moment, I had absolutely no interest in the marriage of the Queen of England’s grandson. But then I got taken up by the “train wreck” that it was.

If I had my wits about me, I might have started to tap:

KC: Even though I am powerless over watching this middle-of-the-night spectacle, and I feel silly, ridiculous, and embarrassed, I accept myself anyway. (3X)

EB: This silly middle-of-the-night wedding.

SE: I am embarrassed that I can’t seem to tear myself away.

UE: I need my rest.

UN: Do I really care about the bride’s wedding dress?

Ch: How can I ever admit this to my cynical friends?

CB: You stayed up all night to watch what??

UA: I am an American woman who doesn’t believe in “royalty.”

RC: OOOO–look at all those ladies in funny hats!

WR: I am beginning to think it’s okay for me to have this guilty pleasure.

TH: I am choosing to enjoy the pomp and circumstance!

So, the truth is that I actually enjoyed watching the wedding. And I decided why: if you turn on the TV anytime of the day or night, you are bombarded by negative messages about tornadoes and uprisings and death and despair. Even the commercials are depressing–especially the drug commercials.

You see beautiful looking people skipping down the street because they asked their doctor about taking the latest funny-sounding-medicine that’s going to cure everything from headaches to anxiety to the “heartbreak of psoriasis.” And then an ominous (but much lower and quicker) speaking voice says: There are possible side effects such as: depression, suicidal thoughts, loss of limbs, and even death. Just check with your doctor to see if this wonder drug is right for you!

As my grandmother would say: Oy vay! So, for one silly night, I suspended all sense of reality as I know it and watched something that was entirely sweet, romantic, hopeful and respectful. I liked the fact that everyone was dressed in their finest clothes and people were cheering for William and Kate from around the world.

In many of the books I have read about the “Law of Attraction,” there are things mentioned about the great power of concentrated energy. Maybe for that brief moment, enough of the world stopped to smile, and Mother Earth smiled back.

Upcoming Workshops

If you happen to be in the Chicago area and would like to experience a 2-day tapping event, please click here to contact me or call (773) 880-5492. Individuals who have taken the equivalent of Level 1 Workshops will receive a Level 2 Tapping Certificate. Those of you who just want the chance to work on their own issues for 2 days worth of experience are also welcome to join in.

Space is very limited, so please contact me to participate in this great event. There is great positive power in tapping in a group. Come find out for yourself. Click here to contact me or call (773) 880-5492

Actually, every month is good for tapping. In fact, it’s a good idea to tap every day if you can. I have to laugh when people say: I just don’t have time to tap. Let’s see: it takes less than one minute to tap on all the tapping points. It might take a few extra minutes if you want to configure a set-up phrase and establish an intensity level, but then we might be dealing with 5 extra minutes.

I encourage people to think of tapping as a daily ritual on the order of brushing your teeth. Everybody does it, but some people spend a lot of extra time carefully flossing and brushing, while others spend 30 seconds quickly doing the minimum.

If you want to quickly fit in tapping every day, here are some suggestions:

• Tap the Ho’Pono Prayer when you first wake up. Simply tap along with the Hawaiian prayer and repeat the prayer until you have gone through all of the points: I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you; I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you; I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you.
• Tap in the shower. Not only do you have a great opportunity to fit in some quick tapping, but the water itself will stimulate lots of acupressure points.
• Stressed out at work? Go to the bathroom, lock the stall door and tap. You don’t have to say anything out loud. Just tap.
• Are you sitting in a boring meeting or dealing with obnoxious relatives? Just tap all your finger tips together. It looks like you aren’t doing anything, but you will be stimulating all the finger points and gain some relief.

Upcoming Workshops

Borrowing Benefits Group

If you happen to be in the Chicago area, please attend one of my upcoming events. On Sunday, April 17, 2011 from 1 PM until 2:30 PM will be my monthly Borrowing Benefits Group on the north side of Chicago. It is a wonderful opportunity to tap with others and resolve some of your own issues. The concept of “borrowing benefits” is truly amazing: you can tap along with another person on a problem totally disconnected from you, and your own issues tend to get resolved in the process! The usual fee for the group is $50 per session and I am offering a special “2-for-1” offer: pay $50 and you can come to two borrowing benefits sessions. Or, bring a friend and you can each pay $25. Please contact me by April 9, 2011 to secure your space and take advantage of this special offer. Please call (773) 880-5492 or email me.

Level 2 Basic EFT Workshop

Coming up in May is my Level 2 Basic EFT Workshop. Space is very limited so please contact me to reserve your space for the fun, informative 12 hour workshop on Saturday, May 21, 2011 and Sunday, May 22, 2011 from 10 AM until 6 PM on both days. We will cover a review of all of the basics, plus some wonderful new, innovative techniques. You will have the opportunity to practice tapping with others and receive expert supervision. Whether you want to become an EFT Practitioner, or improve your ability to tap for yourself and your loved ones, this workshop is for you.

If you have taken the equivalent of Level 1 from any EFT coach, you are qualified to take this course. If you register by April 17, 2011 with a non-refundable deposit of $50, the cost for the 12 hour training is only $227. After April 17, 2011, the full price will be $250.

Please call or e-mail me to register for this workshop, sign up for Borrowing Benefits, or arrange a private tapping session with me: (773) 880-5492 or email me