Happiness

I don’t agree with the concept: pursuit of happiness. It seems to me that “pursuing” happiness is like chasing a rainbow. It appears to be just around the bend, but if your goal is to “catch it,” you will certainly fail.

To me, happiness is not a goal to be chased, but tiny moments that need to be noticed and cherished. A client said to me recently: I don’t think I have EVER been happy! What she meant was that she had no memory of an extended period of time in her life that was totally free of emotional pain.

With that kind of definition of happiness, who could ever claim it? That’s why I believe that true happiness is more a function of simply paying attention, remembering and savoring tiny moments of bliss.

Since I’m always looking for more and more ways to incorporate tapping into daily life, I think tapping is an excellent way to energetically remind ourselves about tiny happy moments. For instance, I had lots of great little happy moments when I went up to Grand Rapids, Michigan recently to watch my actor nephew, Matthew film a series of television commercials.

I had many happy moments there. Everywhere we went, people recognized my nephew and his friends and treated them like big-time celebrities, asking to take pictures with them and to get their autographs. The next day, I got to witness the process of filming a commercial, and all the people involved.

The whole experience was fun, enlightening and happy. Now, all I have to do if I’m having a bad day is tap on the words: Matt in Grand Rapids and add some of the specifics and I can re-live those happy feelings.

What’s funny to me is that I notice that most people (including myself) are often energetically programming ourselves to remember tiny unhappy moments. For example, someone runs over your foot with their shopping cart and doesn’t apologize. You instantly have the double whammy of foot pain and anger at the inconsiderate shopper.

For the rest of the day, every time your foot hurts you think about the moment and the inconsiderate guy. Then you go home and tell your friends: I had such an awful experience today! And then your friends will share their awful stories. Then months might pass, and you drive by the same store and say to yourself: That’s where that guy ran over my foot!

We don’t tend to put nearly as much focus on the tiny happy moments. Try tapping when you notice something entirely pleasant. It may help you next time someone runs over your foot!

I just read a fascinating article about the Science of Happiness by Bill O’Hanlon. He came up with 4 components of happiness and he gave them the acronym: S.O.A.P. “S” is for Social Connections, “O” is for Optimism, “A” is for Appreciation (or Gratitude), and “P” stands for Purpose—specifically a purpose beyond yourself.

I am seriously considering taking an on-line class on the Science of Happiness. It certainly never occurred to me to put the words science and happiness together, but the 4 components make perfect sense to me. I like the idea of earning 24 CEU’s (or Continuing Education Units) studying something that I find fascinating.

By the way, don’t forget that you can earn 12 CEU’s at our EFT Healing Extravaganza coming up in April. Please sign up at: www.eftmentors.com and receive a discount if you sign up before March 1, 2009.

My title “Soap ‘N Tap” reminds me of some silly names I’ve seen for laundromats and beauty shops (like Curl Up and Dye in Chicago, but it comes from the idea that the 4 elements in the pursuit of happiness could easily be enhanced by using EFT. If you are shy when it comes to making social connections, you can always TAP to reduce your anxiety. If you tend to be very pessimistic in any number of situations, you can TAP to get in touch with your optimistic side. If you have a hard time appreciating yourself and others, you could do a little TAP dance—-every day, at the end of the day, you could tap on every tapping point with a different piece of gratitude: I am grateful that the sun is shining; I am grateful that we are one day closer to Spring; I am grateful that I can still see my toes even though I have gained weight…..

You don’t have to dig for major things to be grateful for, but it does help to force yourself to notice: the man who smiled at me on the elevator; the cute puppy I saw on the street; and the lovely cup of coffee I drank this morning…

And finally, if you struggle to find true purpose in your life, TAP on it. You may be surprised what you find out.

Blessings,
Kiya